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No mama. Set your grounds. It’s your baby and if she is toxic like that I wouldn’t let her around baby until she stops. Also make your husband stand up for you
Are grandparents “entitled” to their grandkids?
I’m a bit torn in my feelings towards this. I am very frightened of my MIL, she is a scary woman and I have unbelievable anxiety when I have to meet with her. Like, I won’t poop the day before or the day of when I see her and I will physically shake and shut down.
But, I had a baby and she is my son’s grandma so when I’m feeling mentally healthy after from seeing her last, I will call her and ask if she wants to spend time with him.
She’s going to be retiring in two weeks and she keeps talking about how she’s going to take my son and come over everyday to see him and call him, yada, yada, yada.
Anyway, this frightens me because she is toxic and verbally abusive (hence my anxiety) and I fear my son will get that brute end of her neuroticism. But, I can’t protect him forever from her. I just also need my breaks to recollect myself after I’ve seen her and once she retires and does visit everyday, I worry I will become run-down and hurt myself. I’ve thought of suicide because of this woman.
What I’m trying to get at is, I wonder if I’m being bratty about getting upset that my MIL seems to think she is entitled to seeing my son? Is that a normal thing for grandparents to feel and I should let it go or should I try to make boundaries with her?
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If shes that toxic and makes you feel that uncomfortable then you need to cut her off. I’m sorry but if someone was affecting my mental health to the point that I considered suicide because of how they treated me there’s no way in hell they’d be a part of my life or my kids life no matter who they are. I’d cut my own mother off before I jeopardized my mental health like that much less my kids mental health.
Ri
This 💯
Personally, I don't think it's abnormal for grandparents to feel like they are going to spend time with their grandchildren. However, you can say no for any reason you please. You are the parent. Your relationship sounds really worrisome and I'm sorry but if she is as toxic as you say she is, you certainly can protect your son from her forever. The fact that you word it that way is alarming af. If you think she is going to be abusive towards him you would be in the wrong to let him go with her. I think you need to examine yourself, your MIL and every single family dynamic you have. Good luck.
No. Even if you have the best in laws or parents you still need to set boundaries. Things like call before you come over, we are allowed to tell you no to coming over, if the parents asks for the kid back you must comply, etc. these are normal boundaries to set regardless of relationship. I recommend that you start talking about them before baby arrives.
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