There was a time when my partner and I had broke up for a little while. Before we had kids. I didn’t know what to do with myself. That’s when I enrolled in college and started going to the gym every single day and had a demanding job. I had a circle of friends at the gym that I became really close with. One was my best friend Courtney. We’ve been friends since I was in 8th grade. A few of them were old friends from childhood, and a few new friends who were just regular gym goers. One guys name was Hunter. He worked at the gym Courtney and I always went to. He was always trying to hang out with us. He was a few years younger than us but a very nice kid and we spent a lot of time with him. The three of us went out to eat a lot, worked out together, went to church together, and just simply hung out. We had a group chat on constantly. We became really close and considered him one of our best friends. He was always doing something funny, always making us laugh. A genuinely caring guy. He had mentioned to both of us a couple of times his interest in us but neither of us were interested in anything more than a friend. He never held onto any kind of resentment and continued to be there for both of us. He always listened to our stresses and concerns and always offered valid advice. I have so many memories of the three of us having fun together. This was almost 4 years ago. Since my partner and I had gotten back together and had kids, I no longer talk to any of my old friends. Male or female. Just busy with life and never find the time I guess. He had messaged me quite a few times when my partner and I had first gotten back together and he was uncomfortable with me being so close to another guy and with our past relationship issues I just wanted to avoid it and start back on a clean slate. So I just asked him not to message me anymore. And that was that. Fast forward to today I get a text from my friend Courtney saying hunter had died. He committed suicide. And even though we were only friends for a few months I feel genuinely upset. Upset that he was so young. Upset that I just ghosted him out of my life through no fault of his own. Upset for his mom. Upset for him, that he was feeling so badly. I don’t really know where or who I could talk about this to so I just thought this was a safe place. RIP Hunter, I’m so sorry. 😓