I am struggling to forgive my husband to be and I could use some Christian insight.

A little over a year ago, things became a little strange in our relationship.

I felt he had fallen for another woman and asked him about it many times, always receiving a response saying I was being insecure etc.

I moved back to my home country to finish my master degree and I would only have to stay for a few months. Once I arrived in my country he broke up with me through the phone.

I then found out he was indeed with another woman who he had met through the internet but hadn’t seen in real life.

I lost my partner but also my home, sleeping in a shelter I found God.

I prayed to God many times, asking to show me where I am meant to be and if I am meant to be with this man, to guide me there.

Which he did.

My partner has been loyal ever since. He has not done anything questionable and stays away from anything that could tempt him.

He asked the Lord for forgiveness and we are now United in our love for God.

I however, find myself randomly feeling extremely hurt by his betrayal. It is not a constant feeling, it comes up every now and then. I thought I had forgiven him, but have I ? If that pain comes up so intensely?

I will have flashbacks and always try to hide it. Because even though I went through a lot of pain, so did my partner and he is very remorseful.

Thank you if you’ve read all that. I’m sorry it’s so long.. I would love your advice.