Moving to the City?

Question

Hey girls! I’m wanting some advice about the city life. 
I’ve lived in the same small town my whole life. I’ve always wanted to move to the city but never wanted to be alone and leave my family. 
That’s when I met my SO.. he moved here 7 years ago to be with me.

He is originally from the city. In the time he has moved here we’ve pretty much lived paycheck to paycheck and haven’t accomplished much.

I’ve been a stay at home mom most of that time. To our 4 year old and 2 year old. My SO has been the main provider and we have had financial problems in the past with over spending on nonsense.

But since the pandemic we had to move in with family and really take a look at our lives! And we are finally ready to take the steps to be successful in our lives.

And it’s finally time for us to move back out on our own and start our lives again. The problem is my SO is wanting to move back to the city or at-least the surrounding areas and I think I’m ready too.

But the city is two and half hours away from my small town meaning we’ll be pretty far from my family. The towns in between are way to expensive for us to afford. But I feel like the city offers more then my small town can offer

More jobs? More rental options? More to explore? I mean I don’t see any down side to this expect being away from my family and with our financial past I’m kinda scared to move so far without anyone to help if needed.

￼ and that is also the reason I want to leave. I don’t want to depend on anyone anymore. I want to take control of my own life. And venture out!

But after talking to my mom about moving even 30 min away she talks about the shootings and who will help with the kids etc etc. and then I’m back over thinking my decisions..

That’s why I’m wanting your help. 
I’m a small town girl. Wanting to move to the big city with my children and boyfriend. To start our own life but I’m scared because I’ve been so dependent on my family in the past. And continue to fail. I’m wanting to move away to get out of my comfort zone. 
Should I stay in my small town. Try to find a rental and work on being more independent here?
Or 
Take a leap of faith and move to the big city. Find a rental, maybe go to college and work on being more independent from afar?

Answer

it'll be pretty different. there are a lot of pros and cons to any area you choose to live in, whether it's rural or urban. it all depends on what you like best. bf and i both enjoyed living in the city bc we're pretty young (i moved back home bc of covid since the urban areas are boring now lol), but it definitely wasn't all sunshine and roses. there are more rental options and jobs, but it's honestly pretty stressful living in the city and can be super expensive. bf gets a discounted rent of $1k/mo bc his best friend's family owns the building and he lives in a smaller major city, but it's not in a good area and i always take my beater car to visit him bc car break ins are very common. cities will have a significantly higher crime rate than what you're used to in a smaller town. when i lived in the city rent was $3k+ for a safe building, on top of an extra fee to pay for my own spot in the parking garage (it was an apartment building. bf doesn't pay an extra fee bc a carport spot is included), and $600/semester for a parking permit on campus. air quality isn't as good in the city compared to what i'm used to at home, and depending on your current living situations the apartments can feel like a shoebox especially with children. here, most apartments are only 500-1200 sqft. and definitely calculate childcare costs if you won't be able to rely on family or both of you plan on working.

Answer

There is no way I would choose to move to a city in the midst of a pandemic. Bigger home with outdoor space is the way to go with little kids. We just moved further in and it’s awful. I hate going to the playground, I hate street parking, I hate having neighbors, I hate having to watch that my kid doesn’t run into traffic as soon as we step out the door. I also 4x what I could at home, and I’m the only one working, so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

First I would choose an area you like, check out the going prices of rentals, extra expenses like parking, public transportation, job availability, will you both work and need childcare, will you be able to afford to keep saying home and rely on one salary? Then make a choice that way.

Answer

I think city living can be fun! I would do research on neighborhoods and make sure you are in a safe area.  2 1/2 hours isn’t so far, a quick day trip to visit family if you are missing them. You can use care.com or some other nanny service for help with the kids if you need it.

Moving to the City?

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