I have no where else to share this excitement! So I’m here to share with all of you!! 💗 I got to see my little bean about 10 days ago during an ultrasound, she said the heartbeat had just started that day! Today was my originally scheduled 1st pre-natal. Which they had me keep. I know I already saw the heartbeat so I have some reassurance but I can’t wait to get back there today and hear it stronger today! I woke up at 4:30 this morning and can’t focus at all! My heart is racing and nothing I do can stop my anxiety and excitement. I miscarried last year and I have ptsd of some sort from it. Anytime the word ultrasound is mentioned, while I am excited I get so nervous and scared. I’m even nervous about having to drive there and walk inside. I think I just might pass out from all of my nerves. I literally sat in the shower and had to talk myself out of a panic attack. “My baby has a heartbeat” “my baby is safe” “my baby is growing.”

I hope after I hear that little heartbeat again today my nerves can calm down. I haven’t even let myself think about this as a baby. Can’t fathom it actually happening after what I went through last year. I have 5 kiddos and never had to go through any stress like this with any of them. But after a miscarriage it just feels

So different. I hope I leave the Dr. today with enough piece of mind to enjoy this and that my brain can grasp this as a reality. I’m ready for this to be real!!!! Any one else go thru these intense feelings like this!? How do you calm yourself down!?