ADVICE PLEASE???

My boyfriend has been incarcerated for at least 3-4 months now, I cheated on him while he was in there. This is embarrassing i feel like the worst person on earth. I went to the doctor today and found out I have herpes. I only got the lesions once within these months. Im not sure if i had them before or after my bf went to jail. I cant remember that far back. Im scared to tell him because he's going to leave me. I know this for sure. We always talk about how he would if i ever have sex while im with him bc that would cross the line and really hurt him. I really hate myself. I dont know what to do. Plus this effects our love life so how could i not tell him when were TTC? i couldnt even ask my doctor questions bc I had to run out of the office when she broke the news, I literally almost fainted. I dont know what to do, i dont know how to treat this, i dont know if i can have sex with my boyfriend without giving him herpes idk anything. Im sick with myself, im scared to even touch someone. I cant even stop crying.