I’m out

I’m starting to get the symptoms of my af coming. I was really hoping this was the month it happened. It’s been a year and a half ttc. I feel helpless and ready to just give up. I want to vent for a little. I spent 10 years of my life in a living hell that I thought I would never be able to get out of. Having the children of a horrible man and a deadbeat father. Now here I am with a man who goes above and beyond for me and my kids, and I can’t making this deserving man and i know a future amazing father, as well as I feel myself deserving, to have a good man’s baby. It just hurts, and it sucks, I’m almost mad and upset at it all. He doesn’t have kids, and I’m blessed to have my beautiful children that I do, but to actually plan for a child and have a child brought into a loving relationship feels like I won’t get that. It’s just getting me down.

I really really hope you ladies get your baby this month or soon. I pray for you all!