How do you even cope 😢

TW: miscarriage

Writing this due to an experience I never would’ve thought I’d ever have😥

I was due September 2021. The pregnancy was going absolutely perfect. No morning sickness, no food aversions, craving everything savory. I have an almost 7 month old so at times during this pregnancy I would break down and struggle with the idea of having another baby so soon. I was 9w6d when the light pink spotting started. That went on throughout the day and eventually turned red. I went into my OB office for a ultrasound due to now bleeding and was told my sweet angel’s heart stopped beating 8w2d. My husband and I met with my OB the next day and discussed our options. We decided to schedule a D&C for Tuesday as I just wanted everything to be over with. Monday evening the bleeding got super heavy and cramps started coming. I was passing huge clots the entire time Monday night. I was scheduled for a D&C the next day so I wasn’t able to stay hydrated. I passed out on my bathroom floor and was completely disoriented. The next morning I had my D&C and they took whatever retained tissue was still in my uterus. The whole experience was completely miserable and traumatizing. I try to keep myself busy during the day but at night I just sit and think about my baby.

How do you cope and when did it start getting easier for you?