12 year age gap? Too much or okay?

Question

So, I really like this guy..I’m 27 and he’s 39.  I’ve always preferred to talk to guys/friends who are around that age—probably because my cousins are that age so I’m used to it.  I’ve always thought guys my age were immature lol.  
Would this be a weird/hard relationship?  He has two kids from two different girls.  (They kinda went crazy and he’s looking for something long term)...which I am too but idk if I should pursue this or not. 
Any advice?

Accepted Answer

Y’all are both grown, I don’t see anything weird about that. But him claiming both of his kids moms are crazy would raise a red flag to me

Answer

Only thing that concerns me is those baby mamas. If they are really crazy, well that’s maybe a shit storm you don’t wanna get into. But it’s also possible they’re not and dudes who like to abuse and disrespect their women call them crazy because the women call them out on their behavior and they don’t like that so they make it seem like the women are crazy. So maybe just tip toe with this one until you find out more.

Answer

I feel like age gaps are only weird if one of the partners is early, early 20s. That’s still such an impressionable age and what does a whole adult want with someone whose barely out of the teen years? 
But you’re 27, you’re a grown up. You can date whoever you’d like, regardless of age. I personally couldn’t be with someone who already had kids, let alone with two different women, but that’s just me. Also him claiming both of them are crazy would be a bit of a red flag, just something to keep your eye on.

Answer

I would definitely be more concerned that he’s labelling both mothers of his children as “crazy”.  I think a lot of women are given this stigmatising label by ex partners as a way for them to avoid responsibility for the way they behaved.  
Either he’s genuinely been involved with two women with mental health issues or there’s more to these relationships than he’s letting on. If they both do have diagnosed mental illnesses then he needs to learn that calling people crazy is not acceptable.  That would be my concern about the age gap - is he hoping to pull the wool over your eyes about who he really is.  
As a 40 year old woman, my advice would be to tread carefully but the age in itself is not an insurmountable issue.

Answer

No! I am 25 and my boyfriend is 37. He is divorced and we have a son together and a daughter on the way. He has kids from previous marriage (teenagers now). Hes a great guy and we get along so well! Never would thought I would be with someone who already has kids let alone divorced! But we are good together we have a home and he is the best dad! That's when I new age was just a number.. age doesn't bother me at all because it doesn't feel like there is 12 years between us at all. Do whatever you think is best for you!

Answer

Ur both grown, consenting adults! So, as long as u both want the same things out of the relationship & are happy, then it’s absolutely ok!! My boyfriend & I also have a 12 year age gap, I’m 34 (35 in July) & he’s 46 (47 in June), and we couldn’t be happier with each other! I truly think he could be “the one”! 😊 Yes, we definitely have some differences, aside from the age gap lol, but nothing major & we respect those differences.

Answer

I'm 27, my husband is 42.
He has 3 kids with his ex, 1 daughter with the ex before, but she isn't his biologically because she cheated. His last ex also admitted to cheating a year after their divorce (in message, which I saw)... He's been in therapy, we've been together for 6 1/2 years and are raising our boy (7 months) together.
Our relationship is amazing. Nothing like both of us has ever experienced. We just fit well together.
The only thing I have to admit.. Is that being a stepparent is hard, every step you take is placed under a magnifying glass to see if it's not an inch off.. Having crazy baby momma's in the picture (if they truly are, as mentioned in other comments, abusive men do like to label their exes as "crazy" to downplay or hide their own actions, to make their exes less "believable") does make things harder.

Answer

No girl I’m 27 and my husband is 40 ❤️ 6 years together and TTC #1

Answer

In my personal opinion, I wouldn’t go anywhere near the ten year mark. My husband and I almost didn’t go on a second date with half of that age difference. This is partially due to life expectancy/losing your partner early and life experience/being at different stages in your life plans. Retirement is also something to consider. Two baby mamas on top of all of that, who you’ve already been told are dramatic? No thank you. 
Some people make it work, just really consider what it means for you in the future.

Answer

Totally fine! I know a few couples who have the same age gap. Some have been married for 5 years some have been married 30+ all are good relationships. Best wishes!

12 year age gap? Too much or okay?

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