Abusive or no

Is pushing , grabbing someone coats , and pulling them is abusive to you ?? Me and my bf use to get in fights physically I know this sound crazy but we went to therapy for it and we no longer fight . But now when we argue he shoves me and pushes me and I still tell him that’s putting his hands on me it’s the same thing but he said it’s not cause he don’t hit physically hits me just pushes me .