I guess it's over for me....

So I had gastric bypass 8/3 so that I could get me health in order after ttc for years with my best friend (gay male) well him my fiance and I decided to get my health in order so I can have a baby for us and a godchild for him. Well he died 8/2. The day before my surgery. I'm 42 years old and just don't have the energy to find a donor and I don't want to buy sperm either. It's gonna be a lot harder and more expensive with me being older. We started this when I was 36. The miscarriage was because of my weight and uncontrolled diabetes and high blood pressure. I'm not upset that I've lost 100+ lbs in 6 months but I had a clear cut reason for it. I'm just sad and venting.... Good luck to u all on ur journey!