We experienced a missed miscarriage last year. Right now we should have our little bundle of joy... but that’s not the way life turned out. We moved into our house last week. I’m at the apartment right now getting the last few things we left behind and one thing that was still here is the bag I had all of our appointment stuff in.. our sonograms.. a few little things my mom bought for the baby when she found out, the trimester folders from my OB appointments.. and now Im completely broken down and crying. I know there’s a reason I’ve been avoiding this bag in my closet. I’ve been doing great. I don’t cry about the loss anymore. I’m not crying about learning of another pregnant friend or acquaintance anymore. But fuck this hurts. Going through this bag I’ve been avoiding truly hurts because it’s just not fair. All of those women who could care less about their kids who keep having more.. then I suffer a missed and a chemical pregnancy. How is that right? One of the many women who would care for and love their child so much.. and I can’t even hold the one I was supposed to have in my arms. I’m somewhat still resentful towards people who get pregnant. I know it’s not right.. and i push the thoughts away as soon as they start.. but it’s hard.

I’ve been told that I won’t be completely over it and able to completely move on until I’m pregnant again.. I don’t believe that. I’d never put that much pressure on our next baby. I also don’t believe anybody will ever completely get over a loss.. get over what could’ve been. It gets easier but that part of you will always be there. 👼❤️.