How long?!

Question

So how long is to long to not hear from your significant other. I’ve been dating this guy for about 3 months now and I find it mind boggling that he can go literally all day without communicating with me.. I get a “good morning but once that interaction is over I don’t hear from him for hours I probably wouldn’t at all if I weren’t the first to reach out. I get it if he’s working.. we don’t need to be talkin all day.. but when he’s not 🤨
Btw I am fresh back into the dating field wit men and lowkey startin to remember why I left 🥴😬

Answer

People make time for the things they want , period !!!! Communication is huge and it's a deal breaker for me .so many men are busy and make the time to at least text back .that's simple

Answer

When my husband is working (12 hour shifts) I’ll hear from every 2-3 hours and he’ll definitely take 15 min to have a decent conversation with me during the communications. If he wanted to chat I feel like he would reach out...

Answer

When my now husband and I were dating we texted once every few days or so. We caught up in person when we hung out about once or twice a week. Then we started hanging out more but texting wasn’t ever a huge thing for us. Now we’re married and don’t check in via text very often but we’re very close in our relationship. Catch up every day when we come home from work

Answer

I don't hear from my husband when he's working we actually have a rule that he doesn't get on his phone while he's working the only time he actually calls me during his work is if there's an emergency. Usually just wait for him to come home  talk to him more to talk about when he gets home.When we were dating we would talk maybe once a week but we were long distance for the first 6 months.

Answer

My husband and I don’t text or speak most of the day we are at work. 
When were were in college we went long periods of time without talking (up to a week or so). 
But if you need more communication than that’s a need you have. But not every person is going to be a constant communicator or even a daily communicator and that’s okay. But if it doesn’t work for you it doesn’t work for you.

Answer

If he isn’t working that’s just weird, he seems not interested. Anyone interested would take the time to reply

Answer

We can't text while working. He is a machinist, and I'm a teacher. When we're not, we don't text often.

Answer

You have every right to feel a little bit lf frustration because I would too. Some comments are saying that they spent days without communicating with their significant other but I wouldn't be ok with that; majority of people wouldn't. Sending a text doesn't take long so unless that person is busy I think there's no excuse. You might want to talk to him because maybe his need for communication is different than yours and saying things sometimes help. It would be a deal breaker for me if he doesn't change but everyone's different, I don't know if it would be for you. I think you should talk to him about it now and not wait until you're too deep into the relationship.

Answer

When I first started seeing my boyfriend he was a horrible texter! It’s just not something that he really did (he also didn’t have any social media or anything like super old school). It really bothered me though because it made me feel like he didn’t really care to talk to me. When I brought it up he felt terrible and explained he just preferred talking on the phone. And from then on out he made a HUGE effort to return my texts and communicate better with me. Been together for almost two years now and I get sweet little texts throughout the day and a phone call or two on his breaks just to say hi and that he loves me🥰 maybe just bring it up and explain your feelings? Worked for me!

Answer

My first thought when I was reading this was maybe there’s someone else, maybe he has a wife, girlfriend or kids, or maybe you were the back up plan. My next thought was maybe he’s not allowed to text while he’s working, my next thought was maybe he’s not that into you, or maybe you have separation anxiety or need validation or attention or approval or acceptance and that something you need to work on, or maybe this just isn’t the relationship for you. But at the same token you either build with a busy man or you babysit a broke one. So if he’s a lawyer, obviously he’s a busy person, he’s in court, he’s working on briefs, he’s busy especially depending how important his job is, and Mondays are probably the hardest day of the week because he has to catch up on everything that happened during the weekend and whatever he didn’t finish on Friday. But also remember that effort and consistency are very important in relationships. I tell guys they won I do not chase after a man, I’ve heard inconsistency are very important to me, your level of interest is dictated by your level of effort. A lot of times guys get comfortable, or the power shifts and sometimes it’s used as a control mechanism to who has the ball in their court, or sometimes it is a form of manipulation, the guy does the minimal while you do the maximum to keep the relationship going, and remember what you tolerate and what you except in the beginning usually becomes worse later on. They learn what they can and can’t get away with, they learn what you can and can’t tolerate, they learned that they can get away with murder and do as they please because you don’t want to be alone. They learned that you allow loneliness and desperation to be the reason that you settle for less, so they do the minimal While you chase after them. You need to figure out what’s going on here, if it is worth it or not to stick around, or if there are things that you need to work on. If it’s a power dynamic, if it’s a form of middle of elation or guilt or anything else, or if you have issues that you need to work on yourself. Separation anxiety, codependency, or you’re looking for someone to fill a void within you. Remember a healthy relationship is to whole people￼￼ coming together, not someone who’s looking for someone to fill a void or to make them happy. Remember happiness comes from within. If you’re depending on someone for your happiness, you’re never gonna be happy because they are definitely gonna let you down and disappoint you at some point and then you’re gonna end up depressed and lonely and upset. Figure out what’s going on here, figure out if this person is worth it or not, figure out if it’s their job that’s not allowing them to communicate with you, or if it’s just how they communicate. Not everyone is a big Texter, not everyone is a constant communication person, some people are very independent and focus on their job and can only focus on one thing at a time, and the relationship takes to the back burner because that’s not the priority that they are focusing on right now. And truly figure out if this is the guy you want to be with or not that’s the point of dating is to figure out what you can and can’t tolerate, if this is really the person for you, or are you just gonna end up feeling lonely in a Bandan and neglect in a relationship because you don’t want to be alone and you’re settling for less than you deserve. You got to figure it all out if the sky is worth it or not. Figure out each other‘s love languages, figure it all out that’s the point of dating. And learning New things all the time about each other. And learning new things about yourself. Taking time to reevaluate your life, figuring out what you truly want, figuring out what each other‘s intentions are in the beginning and what they are truly looking for. And also remember that everyone puts on their best face in the beginning. No one says hi I am abusive I’m going to make your life hell, no little by little things happen or situations arise and you learn if somebody is jealous or possessive for insecure or controlling etc. No one says I am jealous and insecure and if you have a male friend or you get chummy with a guy at work, that I’m gonna flip out and you’re going to see my anger issues. But over time when situations arise, you learn these things and red flags come out but sometimes we are so involved or we like the person so much that we are blinded to these red flags, remember always think with your head not with your heart. Because your heart can cloud your judgment, and you dismiss these things and then they all build up eventually. I wish you luck in dating, unfortunately dating has really gone down the tubes especially since all these hook up apps existed. Unfortunately you can order a woman like a meal on GrubHub. And it’s really diminish the quality of men, that they can pass women around left and right, have a girl Every day of the week and sometimes twice a day. They are empty vessel’s trying to find what fills them and it doesn’t fill them which is why they keep doing what they do because they’re not fixing what is truly wrong inside. Unfortunately a lot of things for my childhood also can affect our relationships if we don’t deal with them they come out and manifest in our relationships. I wish you luck in dating I truly do it really sucks to be dating right now.￼￼￼

How long?!

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