Depressed over boobs

My baby was in NICU for 2 wks. I tried tried tried everything to breastfeed. I still am but not getting the amount I need. I know this because i can't EBF because of work demands and can't pump in replacement either because it's just not possible with my schedule. When I do get a chance to pump it's like 1 ml or less from both boobs after 20 mins. Sometimes 2 ml. I produced 5 ml the first freking time I pumped I was so excited but clueless and didn't realize I needed to pump as often .

I've bought 3 diff pumps (first one sucked. Second is better. Also a travel one which I barely even use cuz work and driving n everything). Been to a lactation consultant once in the beginning but haven't since my supply has gone down.

I've been fighting with myself about giving up or not. It's just so deeply rooted in me to accomplish breastfeeding I've been so depressed over it. But I'm also struggling every day just to be a new mom, go to work and juggle it all.

Can I get my supply to increase ?

What is the difference between formula and breastmilk ... I feel like a bad mom not feeding my baby breastmilk and like a failure :(