Little backstory, my hubby and I tried for 18 months before conceiving our little boy, Bennett. I loved being pregnant and I felt like I thrived.

After having Bennett, I almost immediately felt different, alone. How could I feel that way when my perfect son was right by me?? I figured it was the baby blues and it would soon go away. My son had some health issues right away and had to stay in the hospitals nursery for 3 days and stayed with us in our room 2 days before being discharged to go home.

Even now, my son being 7 months, I feel so empty inside and crave the feeling of being pregnant again. I found out I was pregnant in December, it ended in a chemical. I then found out I was pregnant in January. The pregnancy was absolutely perfect and I felt amazing... back to my old self. Then at 9w6d I started spotting... I had an emergency ultrasound and found out my baby’s heart had stopped beating at 8w2d. I was devastated and had a d&c last Tuesday. Once again I have the empty feeling and crave pregnancy. I just feel like when I’m not pregnant, I’m not truly happy.

Does this sound like PPD to you?

I have my post op appointment on Tuesday so I’m gonna discuss this with my doctor as well, I would just like some feedback until then. 😭