My son is 8 weeks old today. I am exclusively breastfeeding at the moment since I'm still on leave from work until mid-March and will be working from home for at least a few months after that. We've had our challenges with breastfeeding since the beginning (latch issues, cluster feeding, needing to supplement with formula for a bit in the beginning, etc...and currently I'm dealing with a bleb/milk blister 😫 along with cluster feeding through another growth spurt). I've managed to push through, and there are times throughout my constant exhaustion that I'm able to step back and acknowledge that I'm proud of myself for sticking with it. Nobody prepares you for just how difficult breastfeeding can be!

Anyways, my husband was on parental leave for 6 weeks and has since returned to work. He's been a very supportive and active dad which is great, however he's a very heavy sleeper. I mean even in the beginning when he was on leave from work, this man CANNOT wake up when the baby starts fussing or crying in the middle of the night. The bassinet is set up at the foot of our bed, and the baby will be screaming and wailing sometimes, and this man just snores right through it 🤦‍♀️ if I'm downstairs I can hear the baby cry in our bedroom upstairs, and my husband will still be sleeping just a few feet away 🙄

In the first few weeks he tried to set alarms in the middle of the night to help but as we all know newborns don't work on alarms or a schedule. Don't ask me why he's able to wake up from an alarm but not a screaming baby because I still don't know 🙃 I would wake him up to help with taking care of diaper changes and stuff, but eventually I gave up since it wasn't helpful for me and I'd have to breastfeed anyway. I would already be awake first since I'd wake up just from hearing the baby move ever so slightly in the bassinet, and then by the time I was able to wake my husband up I'd then be wide awake and just annoyed that I had to wake him up to do things. So I just started doing everything in the middle of the night by myself.

Now I'm not sure if the perpetual sleep deprivation is getting to me again, but I'm feeling resentful that my husband gets a full night's sleep uninterrupted, while I am getting (at best) only 2-3 hrs at a time at night with no naps during the day, not to mention the times like now where I have insomnia and can't go back to sleep anyway. I'm consistently exhausted and it feels like there's no end in sight, even though I know it will get better as the baby gets older. Every time I'm up in the middle of the night I can't help but feel resentful when I hear my husband SNORING through everything. I realize it's not his fault that he's a heavy sleeper, but good grief!!! I am just... so... tired. Physically and mentally. During the day it feels like I'm on autopilot and am able to ignore it, but then there are times like now when I just feel so angry and resentful about it. Now that he's returned to work he's also complaining about how tired he is from the transition back, but I really don't wanna hear it!

Anyone else in a similar situation? How are you managing it?