My girlfriend never wants to have sex with me... advice?

Question

My girlfriend and I have been together for a couple months now and everything is so great... except for the sex. 
She has been on antidepressants for several years which greatly affects her sex drive. She doesn’t get turned on very often and when she does it can sometimes just turn right back off in the middle of sex. Because of this we’ve only had sex a handful of times and it doesn’t last long. In the five(ish?) times we’ve had sex she’s only reciprocated twice and not for very long. 
I know it’s not her fault and we’ve had several conversations about how frustrating it is for her and how it’s her biggest insecurity. Once she gets turned on and I start touching her she gets so in her head and afraid of disappointing me and losing the mood that she actually does end up losing to mood.
 Every now and then she’ll talk about times she’s hooked up with other girls, and normally this wouldn’t bother me. I’ve had my fair share of hookups and I’ll tell funny stories sometimes too. But I’m becoming painfully aware of the fact that she was able to have sex with all these other girls and not with me, and it kinda hurts me feelings. She’s told me that when it comes to hookups she never feels nervous or insecure, but when it’s with someone she cares about she gets super in her head because she’s so afraid of disappointing her partner and being left because of it. 
I’m not going to break up with her over sex, but it is starting to take a toll on me. I really want to feel sexy and desired and that’s hard when she rarely wants to be intimate with me. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to say these things to her because that would make her feel even worse than she does, but it really is affecting me. Has anyone else been through this? And if so, what did you do?

Answer

You can't just push your feelings aside to protect someone else's. You gotta have that conversation with her. Tell her what you need. You should be able to talk to your partner about Anything, especially your sexual needs. If y'all can't come to some compromise, then it may be time to move on. I'm sorry if I'm blunt, I wish you the best, but sex is important and these issues can be taxing. Maybe get a toy and ask her to play with you.
I was in an 8 year relationship and at the end we were having sex like once a month. I tried buying lingerie and it didn't work. I tried communicating. That relationship is over now...

Answer

You need to tell her how you feel and what's going on in your mind. Then suggest both of you seeing a therapist and also changing her medication. My husband has a lot of mental issues and has been on so many medications. As we have been getting older his sex drive has been becoming less and less. I talked with his psychiatrist because I also see him and told him. He stopped one of his pills and put him on a different one. Now our sex life is so much better. You have to look out for yourself as well boo.

Answer

Has she talked to her therapist about trying a different antidepressant?

Answer

I've been and still sometimes am the same way as your girlfriend. I can confirm that is probably just as hard on her as it is on you. It's very frustrating and I feel absolutely terrible when this happens. The best thing my partner does is assuring me that it is okay, that it's not the male or break in our relationship, etc.
It's good that you guys are talking about it. You could look into couples therapy, that helped us a little bit (we stopped going but plan to start again soon).
I'm not sure if this would work for her or help at all, but for me at least I just asked my partner to focus more on intimate non-sexual touch. Which isn't always easy because, I mean, the desire to have sex is almost always there for him and I know it, but it's definitely helped us come a long way. Even though it felt a little awkward at first, he will say he just wants to give me a massage or take a shower and specifically states he isn't looking to make it into more than just that. 
Does that kind of make sense? I guess I'm suggesting you guys maybe brainstorm how you might take that pressure off and help her warm up to it a little more. Because sometimes I am really into it and then all of a sudden it's gone, but I notice if we it helps that not happen as often if it's like a slow burn over the day or even a couple days.

My girlfriend never wants to have sex with me... advice?

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