Today it came again

The intrusive thoughts and instructive destruction that controls every movement I make or thought or feeling

Today it came again,

The need to feel the blade dragging across my skin

The deep red of my blood shouting out

I am alive

I am here

Drop drop drop

I see my blood fall onto tissue and I stare fixated,

the intrusive thoughts echo again telling me there is not enough,

I am not enough,

to cut again and again until I feel something..

anything

Today it came again and again and again

The thoughts getting louder and louder until I can barely hear myself

More and more “cat scratches” appear and it get harder and harder to hide from my peers. I cover my arms, and withdrawn from myself till all they can see is an empty shell

Today it came again.

But I can’t fight it anymore

Today it came again, no more.