SCARED.CONFUSED.FEEL LIKE IM GOING CRAZY.

When we met we talked of kids he said he didn't rally want any I said I wasn't sure. Few years later we talk again and he says he sees having kids with me, wants that. I still scared of the idea but agree with the decision because I was confident even if I was scared. Come to this year and I'm off birth control we haven't used any protection for any of our sex sessions. Still not pregnant not even a scare which is fine.

Days ago we got in an arguement and he said he wanted to get a vasectomy and that he set an appointment. I freaked out mentally and thought the worst things my brain went to like it always does.. I've tried to explain my thinking but it's everywhere and it seems he doesn't seem to listen.. now he cancelled his appt and I feel like I pressured him into that. Even asked and he didn't really give me an answer. I asked if he REALLY wanted kids and he gave me a list of what he is scared of but didn't say yes or no for sure. Now I'm stuck and I don't know what to do. My brain is still going haywire and I can't seem to cope right now.

I don't feel like I can say anything right.

Just needed an outlet that I hope doesn't come with rude comments to make me feel worse.