Vent about my breakup

A few days ago my then bf and long time best friend said he had second thoughts about our relationship. It’s not like I didn’t see it happening bc he had been talking to me less and when we saw eachother in person it felt different from when we first got together. However he was still telling me he loved me and trying his hardest to have me not suspect his head and heart weren’t in it anymore. I was very much in love with him still am and I so badly want to process the break up and move on. Eventually I wish we can be friends again as we were legit so fucking close for like 8 years. It’s so hard for me right now bc while ik there was a strong possibility of us not lasting forever I just wasn’t wanting it to end just yet. I’m not mad at him for loosing feelings but it hurts he felt like this for a few months or at the very least a month and he didn’t say anything. He claims he didn’t want to hurt me but it still happened, yet I can’t hate him. We both want to be friends down the line and he’s okay with just jumping back to it while I’m not ready for that. Idk if I ever will either and that thought scares me. I just wish I could jump to the point in my life where I’m healed from this and can have him around as a friend again. I don’t regret following my heart I just HATE that the way he went about ending things ruined an easy transition back to friends.