Just need to vent. I'm hurting.
I'm the second of 3 kids. My mom has always kind of treated me like i wasn't as important as my other siblings. It didn't bother me as a kid as much as it has as an adult and I have no clue why. Ex- My wedding, she offered to pay for the venue and help with my dress but never did, she lied to me and told me she did which resulted in me losing my venue and my dress all because she wanted to pay for my sister's 15th birthday party instead. There was a time when my kids were staying in a house with no heat, electricity or anything in the middle of winter and when I asked if we could sleep on her couch for the night she told me I needed to see if the homeless shelter had a bed available but will let my theiving brother stay there with no issues. Another example- I got pregnant with my first at 18 almost 19 and caught hell from my family. They hardly would speak to me, treated me like absolute dirt, My sister is pregnant at 16 and they are all praising her, paying for her announcement pictures, throwing her a gender reveal and a shower. I never got anything like that, never even got offered and thats barely scratching the surface of everything. I just don't understand why I'm not worthy of her love too. I'm always second best, I'm always living up to my siblings, but they don't even stop to see that they are hurting me eith their actions. Shes never treated me like she does my older brother and younger sister, ever. I'm 24 now and its effecting me so badly. I own my own house, i am doing well for myself, own 2 vehicles, my kids are well taken care of and i get treated like the outcast but there's my brother who is addicted to everything under the sun, steals, is a dead beat dad, a woman beater, never has held a job and then my sister who is an ungrateful self centered manipulative lying child and they get treated like gold. I have struggled with my mental health for as long as Ican remember and this just really gets to me. Its messed me up. You can call it jealousy, and maybe i am but I just wish for a second I got the privileges and things handed to me like they have and do. They don't talk to me unless they want something then i drop whatever I'm doing and help them which is stupid on my part but I have a really big heart, a blessing and a curse. I'm sorry, but I have no one else to talk to so I guess a bunch of strangers will have to do.