Can I get your advice

I’m going to post this anonymously but please believe I’m reading each reply.

My fiancé and I are actively trying to conceive. I’ve had doctors appointments and received clomid to try to induce ovulation. He hasn’t been quite curious or to say the least interested in the process or what’s going on.

I’m currently 11 dpos and he hasn’t once asked what’s going on or have you taken a pregnancy test but yet any information he receives is me just telling him.

So tonight I finally just asked why haven’t you shown any interest in the progress of our conceiving. He said he didn’t know he needed to but he would from now on. I didn’t quite accept this answer because he knows exactly what’s going on so me asking him to show interest just doesn’t feel genuine. During this whole conversation I’m quite calm but he’s getting defensive and goes on to say I’m trying to trap him into an argument and I’m exhibiting narcissistic behavior. That immediately pissed me off and I was like you no what fuck this because I can’t even speak. Everytime I talk, you cut me off and you’re telling me I can’t feel some way. I then go on to say I pray that I’m not pregnant at this point. He proceeded to call me evil and said I say stupid shit and leaves the room. 20 seconds later he comes to apologize and I tell him I don’t want to talk right now.

Now before you call me or us childish understand I’ve never in my life had the least bit of a pregnancy scare. I’ve never conceived and probably can’t. I’m 30 years old with pcos and probably get 3 periods a year. I’ve been down the clomid road, ovidrel road, <a href="">IUI</a> and timed intercourse so as you can imagine this journey is emotional. I only brought it up because I feel like I’m damn near alone and carrying the disappointment of negative test after negative test, the stress of peeing on a stick holding it up to light to see the slightest second line, the every little twinge could mean something and he just gets to drop a load off inside me. My aim was not to start an argument but was to bring how I feel to his attention and now I’m some fuckin narcissist. He isn’t nervous and all for having a baby. I just want this to be an us thing and not a me thing.

This is where the advice part comes in. I don’t know how to convey my feelings especially not when you call me names. I immediately go for blood so I’m in cool off mode. I want to know if I’m wrong to feel this way? Am I expecting something that I shouldn’t? Am I looking at this wrong? How do I express this the right way without coming off like I’m attacking him?

To note we are very much happy. We rarely argue and usually are always all over each other. I just feel like he’s not ever interested in anything that’s important to me but I’m super supportive of his situations.

Maybe I’ll expose myself if there are questions I need to answer to get the advice I need.

Thanks in advance 💗