For second time mom's are you as excited about this baby as the first ??

I feel so stressed out. I feel bad because my mind is just at a whirlwind right now. I wasn't expecting to get pregnant so close together...our other baby just turned one. I showed my boyfriend the test and he was shocked at first but just seemed to get over it right away. I can't stop crying, stressing over the littlest stuff... my first baby I was scared at the beginning but I got more excited by the day. This baby I feel like I'm getting sicker in to a black hole. I'm so scared. I had terrible PPD and got no help for it because everyone would just be like what's wrong with you ??? Be happy you just had a baby??? And I just got out of that tunnel I swear maybe 3 months ago and started to feel stable minded again and feel better. I don't wanna go through it again right now. I'm so scared. I was so depressed it made me physically sick. I has to go back to work 4 days after my baby was born and I think that was the root of my ppd. My bf is excited now but he can't figure out why All I've been doing is crying and he thinks I should be happy about this because out family is growing again. I feel so helpless. Anyone else feel like this with ANY of their babies ? I feel like I'm completely alone. Everyone is so happy :(