TW: Death

Sometimes I wonder if it would really matter if I killed myself or not. I’m early 20s. No one depends on me. I don’t talk to many people. My parents make me feel like I’m more of a burden than I am a blessing. My mom doesn’t believe in mental health. She doesn’t believe in my expressing my emotions. My dad doesn’t give a shit. He’ll say he “hears” me then continues on with a. “... BUT...” so then no you don’t hear me if you’re inserting what you want to say and make me feel. I’m not overly sad right now nor am I happy. I feel blank. I’m just saying.. realistically if I ended it all, it wouldn’t matter. My parents wouldn’t have to pay for my school. They say I’m too expensive. My mom feels the need to control how my life functions. I guess to me it’s like... sure they’ll feel sad but I’m sure it gets easier. I don’t know. I know someone’s going to tell me to think about other’s feelings before my own. It’s whatever. When will someone consider mine before they insert their own. Who will listen to me. We all gotta face death and cope with it whether we like it or not