Would you be stay with someone who didn’t comfort you?

Question

So I have severe phobia of bugs so I saw a giant roach and my husband never comforts me he says I’m crazy he just says I’m crazy I’m really scared and cry so much over this I feel I’m about to faint after seeing a bug.  He doesn’t understand me I don’t even like sleeping in the dark I sleep in the dark because he likes to sleep that way not because I want it. I’m terrified panicking I have severe anxiety and stress. My family just think I’m crazy I see a big roach and they don’t see it so they say it’s little. I need someone who will comfort me.

Accepted Answer

I'm going to be honest here and say your expectations are unrealistic. I'm not being unsympathetic to your phobia, I also have one, but at the end of the day you can't expect him to comfort you every time you cry because you've seen a bug. You should seek therapy if you have such an extreme reaction... I don't even know how you've managed to get through life so far if only takes the sight of a cockroach to send you crying.

Answer

Being that there are bugs literally every square inch of life I’m gonna say no.
I hope you’re in therapy because this phobia is going to cause strain in everyday life. It’s beyond unrealistic to want someone to comfort you every single time you break down over a bug.

Answer

I’m confused. So now you’re married? I thought you were 18 living in a basement with your grandma.

Answer

If he is encouraging you to face and work through your fears, absolutely stay with him.￼ You are a grown-up and you’re not going to be comforted like a baby over a bug. I’m totally sympathetic to your fears because I am also afraid of bugs. The differences I don’t expect anyone to coddle me over it. You have to work through your own phobias. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility.￼

Answer

I have a fear of going anywhere by myself, and being physically close to guys. My bf is completely understanding and considerate. He is there when I need comforted, I wouldn't say I would leave him if he didn't comfort me but I'm just saying there are guys that are understanding with constant phobias

Answer

Maybe he doesn’t feel he knows how to help. Maybe talk to him, or a therapist.

Answer

If you have a phobia to that level, I would recommend seeing a therapist.

Answer

I don’t mean to come off as harsh but I don’t know how to word this so I’ll apologize in advance, it’s not my intention.
You’re expectations are unrealistic. You can’t expect him to comfort you every time you see a bug, and you can’t sleep with the lights on. You’re hurting yourself more by building up your expectations when really, you’re holding yourself back and hurting your relationship/life in general. 
Have you guys talked about maybe getting a night light? That way you wouldn’t be in complete darkness and he should still be able to sleep comfortably. Are you talking to a professional?

Answer

Maybe therapy could help because bugs are literally everywhere.

Answer

My husband would literally laugh and walk away. You are never going to get away from bugs, so I suggest getting some professional help.

Would you be stay with someone who didn’t comfort you?

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