Today I found out my cousin and best friend ( who are getting married in 4 months) are now expecting a little bundle of joy. I'm beyond happy for them and they will be awesome parents, but I'm also hurt that it isn't me. Some of you may come on here and say " stop being jealous and just be happy for them".. yes I openly admit I AM jealous BUT I'm also extremely excited for them! I'm hurt because I don't understand why it isn't me. My fiance and I have been actively trying and at a few points even stopped and said " it'll happen when it's meant to".. for the past 9 years. I've gone to multipule doctors as well as my fiance has and everything is okay, yet we cant get pregnant.. so here I sit and watch everyone around me announce their pregnancies and act like I'm okay. Honestly though, I'm at the point of a breakdown, giving up completely and accepting that we may never have a child together. For now I'm just going to be happy for my friends and family.