Issues with my mom

I’m about to have my second baby. My first was when I was 25 and not having a clue what to do. My mom was suppose to be there for me, my husband was too but he worked 15 hour days at the time. My mom was more concerned with planning her wedding to a man she hardly knew. Had my baby on the 14 her wedding was on the 28. I had a c section so I needed the extra help but she was never around at the time. Not to mention she left us in her old house with her ex while she went to live with her new husband. So things were awkward. She made me cry and feel bad when I didn’t want to go over her soon to be husbands house to visit with his family. Did I mention that had been dating for less than 6 months. She wanted me to bring my new born yo go see strangers. Not to mention it was Christmas Day. During the first two months of my newborn life she came over a handful of times to help.

Now I’m having my second baby and she expects to stay at her house so she can take care of us. I don’t trust that she will really help she’ll help for a few days and then get bored or want to control everything. My husband is also able to go on paternity leave so why would I go to her house not to mention I would have to leave my 8 year old so he doesn’t miss school. I don’t want anything to do with her helping me, yet I feel guilty. She wants to pick up my son before I go in for repeat section and I rather him be with my in laws because they will make it more fun for him and about him. She’ll just make things about her. But I still feel guilty for not including her as much during this pregnancy but I just don’t trust that she’ll make it about us. Rather than being strong for us she will just make it about her and her feelings. I hate that I feel guilty. Why should I? She also made it about her when my cousin went to have her baby. When I had my first she claimed her labor and delivery was worst than mine meanwhile she was there watched me labor for over 24 hours to just end up with an emergency c section. Hers was not so traumatic. My husband almost lost it when she heard her say that. Idk, I hate having these guilty feelings even though she’s messed up enough.