Baby Koehler
I never thought we would experience a pregnancy loss. We tried for 2 years and the joy that filled our hearts and home was beyond belief. We got pregnant! I have a baby registry, a list of names picked out, a Christmas ornament... I finally had a reason for living. Our house became a home. I have two step children. Unfortunately, their mom has only allowed us every other weekend with them even though we live 5 miles away. I've done everything to show my love for my stepkids and tried to prove to them that they mean the world to me. Friday evening, at my stepdaughters birthday party, I had to flush my joy down the toilet. We decided to tell the children about our loss. I feel this was a mistake. They were mad that we were pregnant. They expressed they don't want a brother or sister and instead of my husband being able to be their for my mourning the weekend became about their feelings. I tried to hug my oldest stepdaughter and she pushed me away. It is one thing to mourn the loss of my baby but to deal with disrespectful stepchildren on top of my grief is beyond what I can handle. I'm angry and I don't know how to release my anger. I want to break things and ruin things. I'm angry at my stepkids and I don't want to be.
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