So..... I’m at a breaking point. Should I stay or should I go? My life is beyond a lifetime movie but I’ll give you a preview into my day to day currently. I am a at home mom. Who consults businesses financially during covid, as well as working on the beginning stages of both my clothing brand and cannabis business. I have one child who recently turned 10. My only child. Me and my husband have been together since I was 16 years old. Young and dumb and in love is what you could call us. But in my mother’s words she would call it stupid!!! So fast forward to now.....Years later, married at 18. Three pregnancies, one child. Affairs, Disloyalty, Mistrust!!!!

I ask myself what pushes me to continue to stay in a relationship that is constantly being treated as if it is not even a partnerships. What makes me so fucking loyal. And I’m not going to lie. After finding out my husband never really gave anything into being a loyal husband sexually and mentally. I chose to be sexually active with other men from my past but am I wrong or should I have kept my value and left when I had my virtue. He wronged me so I felt I had the right to wrong him! Now we find ourselves here! After realizing my husband had started his old patterns again, I snapped! I couldn’t have felt more betrayed in my life. It’s like the man I thought I had was and will always be a fragment of my imagination. He is now talking to other woman openly. Blatantly and I am confused on how to move on.... how do you let go of something you love! How do you stop loving someone! I need help seriously. I am not a battered woman but my heart is broken and I don’t know how to let go of something that I wanted for so long. As I write this I find myself questioning the love I have for myself. Because if I loved myself more maybe I wouldn’t accept this behavior or any lack there of as a reason to keep pushing something that is not even worth it. I feel like I am wasting my time and I need confirmation!!!!