Baby #3...

I really want to have another child 😩. My youngest just turned 1 and I really want to have 1 more. I thought getting pregnant again would have been easy like the first 2 times but it hasn't been. I've taken so many at home pregnancy test and it's negative everytime. But in all honesty I know in my heart having another baby right now would be reckless given my current situation. But I can't help but feel disappointed after each negative test...maybe I'm just being selfish for wanting another baby. My period is supposed to start today but I feel like if I was pregnant the test would tell me😓