So I had my surgery last night, my ep was in my left tube which had to be removed, surgery went well in some pain but have been prescribed medication, they asked me if I wanted the fetus and I said yes. I feel like my heart has shattered into a million pieces! I’ve prayed for years for a baby and thought all my dreams had finally come through, and it was all taken away so fast :’( I named the baby Dylan as I wanted a gender neutral name and this one also means a lot to me, is it weird that I want the fetus? I just feel like it’s still my baby and hate the fact that it is the hospital right now without me :’( I can’t help but think what did I do to deserve this? I’m not sure if it has hit me properly yet! It is very traumatizing going through all this alone! I hate covid :’(