What do I do

So my husband is supportive and wonderful. We have a 4 month old baby and he has supported all of us financially and works hard. He is more social than I am and I’m sure he misses going out. We haven’t been out much since the pandemic and having a baby. I carry most of the responsibility looking after the baby and he steps in when I’m at my limit. I’ve been a bit nervous about my mental health because I’m so tired and I think some crazy things which is not like me. Yesterday I made the mistake of driving for an hour to see my grandmother. It was all work for me caring for the baby while I was there. My little one doesn’t do well in new environments and it was so much work. My grandma can’t help because of her age. On the way back I had to pull over because I as falling asleep at the wheel. I truly didn’t know how I would make it through the night so I hired a good friend to watch my baby all night and she did!

Today my husband asked if we can party at his uncles house with a few of his colleagues and their girlfriends or wives. I think one couple is bringing their 18 month old. I said sure because it’s what my husband needs but I am SO tired! I hate that I’m going because truthfully I can’t relax..I’ll have to look after the baby the whole night if he cries or whatever.

I have so much anxiety around our marriage and if it will last! This anxiety is behind a lot of my decisions like this one. I make commitments that I really don’t like but just to keep a happy husband. I know so many couples who broke up because the stress of having children was so difficult so I tend to do things like commit to going to this party just so i have a happy husband but I really hate that I’m going and all I want to do is stay home and chill!

Should I speak up nicely or go so he can have a good time because it means a lot to him