Dating someone autistic

I’m really struggling here. I’ve been dating someone on the spectrum for 2 1/2 months, and it’s getting harder and harder. He’s so harsh and cold sometimes, and I can’t tell what’s autism and what’s him being a jerk. I try to be patient and over explain how I’m feeling and why what he says/does hurts me, but he doesn’t seem to put much effort into learning and growing. Can anyone give me some advice? It’s especially hard because I have an invisible disability and need some extra support from a partner...