Any ladies with me?!

I stopped BC in Oct 2020. I’m 33 and TTC #3 (our twins just turned 4). It took us almost 2 years to get pregnant with our boys, and got pregnant using 100mg of clomid and an IUI (they inserted his sperm).

My husband thinks are twins are a handful and can’t see how we’d be able to raise another, so obviously isn’t on board for that ride again. But he’s so loving to our neighborhood babies and has even offered to watch them so their mommy’s can get stuff done. I know deep down that we’d be fine (especially if it’s only one baby to take care of!)

I told myself that this time around, I wouldn’t go to a doctor, I wouldn’t do fertility treatments, and if it happened, great... if not, then that is God’s plan.

But I started tracking, I started testing for ovulation and I made an appointment at a new OBGYN. I’m not keeping it a “secret” that I want another baby. But my cycles are anywhere from 35-42 days long, making it impossible to keep track of, and even when I get the timing right, I’m still not getting that BFP. I’m mentally struggling and hubby just blows it off. 🙄 It doesn’t help that one of our neighbors just had a baby, another just found out she’s pregnant (and conceived on her 2nd cycle) and yet another (gay, female) couple are trying to get pregnant with a sperm donor. I feel like I’m in competition with “who can get pregnant first”, and I’m the loser! 😭

Any ladies with me?! Any words of advice?