MIL wants to throw a separate baby shower?

Question

Ok, so my MIL and I are close, but only because they live 20 minutes from us. My parents are also only 20 minutes from us. My mom obviously wants to throw my baby shower, I’m her only daughter and this is her first grandchild. My MIL and I have had issues in the past but I’m pretty passive and just let things go. She informed me a few days ago that she wants to throw a separate baby shower for me that only includes her friends and her family. Is this weird? My mom told me she’s kind of offended and feels weird that she wouldn’t be invited to a shower thrown for her own daughter. My husband thinks the idea is stupid but he’s extremely non confrontational. What do I do??

Answer

i’d let her have her own as long as your mother and family of choice can come if that’s what you want

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It’s not too abnormal for each side of the family to have their own shower

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So she can display you? Sounds a bit odd.

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It’s all about celebrating you, your partner and your baby! Do what makes you feel happy and if it’s having a second shower, your mom should def be invited! Congrats girl

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Is it possibly to reduce numbers due to covid? 
Also, I do find that the mom of the man tends to have an inferiority complex about the mom of the woman. Like she's less important of a grandma than the mom's mom.  She may feel like she'll be left out if the shower is planned by your mom. She wants to plan the party and be the host, not just attend another hostess's (and the threatening other grandma's) party. It's dumb but something I've definitely noticed. I'd probably agree to it. It may even keep less tension and drama.

Answer

Its not ok for your mother to not be invited!! Especially since she already is throwing you a shower!  My mother in law insisted i have a wedding shower so her friends could buy me gifts since she had spent a fortunate on all their kids but my entire family was invited so no body cared!  Its fine to have two partys but your fanily is invited or i wouldnt go

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I’d just tell her what you’d rather do. When people started talking about a shower with my so , I let everyone know I just wanted one big one that included both families and friends. That’s what I had. I didn’t want to have 6 different showers. I still ended up with 3, because of church, work, and the big one with family and friends.

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I mean if she’s paying for it then I wouldn’t complain lol I’d never turn down free cake and more gifts

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My MIL did this for bridal showers. I initially thought it was weird too. 
If you’re okay with celebrating with her friends, and they are planning all of it, then go for it. But you can also say no! If you feel uncomfortable, don’t want one with her friends, or aren’t sure with COViD then kindly tell her no and maybe offer to let her be involved in your other shower

Answer

Definitely odd. Not the same, but my MIL threw me a bridal shower for her friends and family and didn't invite my mother and my mom definitely felt slighted, and I felt annoyed. My MIL only had one child, my husband, so I think for her it was a selfish need to have the illusion of me as her daughter; I also agree with the inferiority complex thing another commenter said.

MIL wants to throw a separate baby shower?

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