Relationship Advice Needed 😞 long post

Hi everyone, i thought I’d have a go at posting on here as I don’t have any friends personally to talk to about these things :/ sorry this post is long!

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years (since we were 15, now 19) and he is lovely (let’s call him John). We haven’t been able to see eachother due to the pandemic, and although we can now meet up outside as we’re in the UK, I feel like I don’t really want to. I’m not sure whether it’s because I haven’t been seeing him that I feel uncomfortable or whether my feelings have changed.

He is really lovely and helps me a lot with my crippling anxiety, but I just feel bored. We talk all day over text and he always says the same things, and never asks me anything? Like I have to shoehorn a conversation out of him and he’ll just say “ooo!” Or “omg!” Or stuff like that. There are also some remarks he makes sometimes that really put me off. The latest one was that I’m “addicted to Ben and Jerry’s ice cream” which I’m not haha, I love it as it’s my favourite but I’d say I have it maybe once a month? He said it in a kind of rude way, and when I picked him up on it he said “I wasn’t being rude I was just joking it’s true you are”. He’s also made remarks about me being spoiled - my dad left when I was 6 and tries to ‘buy me’ aka “I’ll buy you this if you don’t give me any trouble” etc. His parents are very much together and he’s got no idea what it’s like, so when he says things like this it really upsets me as I have a lot of trauma from that side of my life.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t know if it’s a rough rough patch or whether I’m just not really interested anymore. It sounds stupid to friendzone someone who you’ve been with for 4 years, but I’m feeling like I’d need a friend more than a boyfriend. I’ve never been alone since I was 15 and I’m scared to not be in a relationship, i don’t really know any different.

Does anyone have any experiences or advice? I’m really sorry this is waffly, I never talk about this like I said I don’t have anyone to talk to, so everything’s just whirling round my brain.

Thanks :)