Is it normal for me to be a little disappointed?

Question

Right so, me (19f) and my partner (20m) have been dating for about a year and a half. I know we are still young and a year and a half is realllllly not that long in the scheme of things, but I do see myself being with this man for the rest of my life. Here’s my problem: i’ve ALWAYS wanted to get married. I love watching wedding videos, i love wedding dresses and rings, I love everything about it. And the only person I would want to marry is him. However, he doesn’t know if he would ever want to get married. His parents aren’t (they’ve been engaged for like 25 years though) and he says that so many marriages end in divorce. I understand his perspective, and I’m trying hard to respect it and not push for a yeah, i’d wanna get married or no, i don’t think i would, but it’s really disheartening when he says he doesn’t know. Is it normal for me to be disappointed, or should i be trying harder to let it go?

Answer

He is only 20 years old. He’s not done maturing. He may very well decide otherwise later in life. You are also extremely young so I would try to relax a bit and let things just develop.

Answer

He is 20 you are 19. You guys still have your whole life in front of you just take your time. I wouldn't bother about this right now just enjoy you life. Uou can still worry about it later, maybe it won't even be him and you nade yourself worry for nothing.

Answer

id say if it’s a dealbreaker then go. he could stay like that his whole life and you’d just be wasting your time. if you can accept that and think one of you will change your mind, give it a chance

Answer

I worked for divorce attorneys for over a decade.  Because of that, I would never get legally married.  However, I WOULD have a commitment ceremony where you celebrate each others’ love and commitment to one another.  
That might be something to discuss instead.  My SO and I were going to do that this summer but between covid and another baby on the way, we’re holding off for a while yet as we want everyone who wants to be there to be there.

Answer

its okay to be a little disappointed. after all, there’s nothing wrong in wanting those things.
but like everyone says, you still have a life ahead of you and he may change his mind down the track. hold on to that dream because it’ll happen one day 😁

Answer

I started dating my husband when I was 15, he was 16. He wasn't ready to get married until he was 24, almost 25. Plenty of time for him to change his mind. I am also glad we waited. We definitely were too immature and not ready at 20. He was able to finish up his bachelor's degree and get a decent job before we got married and moved in together.

Answer

Stick to what you want. Period. It’s your life and you’re going to be selling yourself short if you give up what you want for someone else. You’ll only grow to resent him if he never married you. 
If a man loves you, and you make it a requirement, he will marry you. Period.

Answer

My husband (20) & I (20) have been together for 5 years, but we got married over a year ago (when we were both 19). When we first got together, I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to get married, but I was 15 at the time & I didn’t know much of anything that I’d want in my future. It still hurt his feelings though because it’s something he had always wanted. After about a year together, I changed my mind on the whole marriage thing because I knew that if I was ever going to commit to anyone, it would be him. He had already been my best friend for 5 years & we had been through a lot together. We got engaged at 18 & married almost a year later. I know you’re young (because we are too), but if two people really want to be together & a commitment like that means so much to one, it will eventually mean something to the other one. Give him some time, but I wouldn’t continue the relationship after 2 years if he doesn’t want the same things. Even at a young age like that, it’s not worth continuing to pursue someone if you know he’s not going to ever want something you have always wanted.

Answer

You guys are still very young, year and a half is not that long. 
He may think he doesn’t want it now and that might change or it might not, I know you know what you want and didn’t want to waste time with someone who doesnt want the same thing but give it time and have the conversation again in more detail down the line

Answer

He’s only 20. But that being said, his parents never got married so he really might feel this way as in why bother. You’ll have to really think about if this is the guy for you if he doesn’t want marriage. It’s not for everyone

Is it normal for me to be a little disappointed?

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