New Baby or New Job?

I am turning 40 this year and have a lovely, mostly happy 3 year old. We needed many fertility treatments to have him and at the end had 4 embryos left over.

Last year we tried to get pregnant again but none of the 4 embryos worked out.

Now I have to decide if I should go through IVF retrieval again. The doctor seems to think we might get 1-2 embryos if we’re lucky. Chances aren’t looking great. And if we want to have any chance we need to start right away.

My husband says he will support me but he doesn’t really want another. He doesn’t deal with stress well at all. He gets stressed out when he has to bring our toddler to bed who isn’t complying. Now he is worried about bringing 2 to bed or to pick up from two different daycares/preschool. So am I. But this Mother’s Day I felt I am missing out on a child I haven’t met yet.

On the other hand right now I am just getting my life back together. I’m applying to new jobs because my current one is terrible and boring. If I want a second baby I should probably stay in my old job so I don’t have to tell a new boss 4 months in that I’m pregnant. Since my husband started bringing the toddler to bed every other day I finally have a bit of time to myself in the evenings or for hobbies that I completely stopped when I gave birth. I can’t imagine going through the sleepless nights again. We have no family nearby. I will have to start working full time with a 2.5h commute per day after 5 months Maternity leave.

What should I do? I’ve been trying to make a decision for 6 weeks and time is running out. Baby or no baby?

Any experience how you’ve dealt with the transition from 1 to 2 would be helpful. Note: we can afford it financially.