Feeling unloved and unappreciated

I'm currently 19 weeks pregnant.

Me and my partner have been together nearly 9 years and some days I think I actually hate him.

Some days he is nice and others he talks to me like shit insults me and is controlling over what I eat.

I've continually told him it is not okay, we have a fight and I am always the bad guy that has to say sorry.

I'm always the one that looks after him, and he complains about everything I do.

I don't know where to go from

Here and I don't know what to say to make a difference. Everything I say he just throws back in my face.

Any advice?