I don’t need judgement rn

Okay I’m pregnant with my second child I’ve been really stressed and emotional , since before I found out I was pregnant I’m a heavy smoker light drinker and one time edible eater me and my baby father kinda got into an altercation the other day and I just been feeling real down cause I don’t deal with abandonment so well I thought about putting myself in a insane asylum I’ve suffered with depression for years and things was going good I just don’t know what to do so I’m putting the bottle to my head I feel bad doing it but I need to feel okay .