Hello, 33yo FTM here 🥰

I had my first midwife appointment this week at 18w, to meet the team and understand about my care. I mentioned my partner and I don't live together (he's on a farm and I work in the city so it's 1.5 hours away) and immediately for the raised eyebrows and the "ohhhh" reaction. He's going to be as present as he can and stay with me regularly (although he works 7-7 so it will mostly just be having another human in the house a few nights a week so I can have a peaceful shower lol) but I don't want to move to the farm as it's so isolated, no footpaths to go for a walk etc and no fences - my dogs would be lost in 5 minutes if I let them outside as they have always been city dogs with fenced back yards.

They are referring to me as a single parent at the hospital which I guess technically I am as we live seperately, and they have referred me to the social worker at the hospital for additional support.

Did anyone else have this kind of referral and what did they discuss with you when you saw the social worker? I'm a bit nervous to go because people are quite judgemental of our situation - and as much as I would love to live together, I don't want to be that isolated with a newborn (my friends and extended family all live near me - my parents are interstate) and he doesn't want to move to me because his 3 young kids live out that way so I understand wanting to stay close with them, we are going to make the best of it until we can come to a more permanent solution.

I get super stressed when I talk about it with people and usually end up breaking down and crying, although I'm coping with our non traditional parenting arrangement SO MUCH BETTER than I was when I first found out I was expecting and was stressed about doing this alone (this was unplanned and although he raised termination, he never pressured me into it as I made it clear I wasn't comfortable with that and is slowly just trying to get on board with this baby).

Did you go to antenatal classes alone? I don't really want to take a friend or anything (I actually haven't told anyone other than my mum and dad that I'm pregnant at 19w because they will just give me grief about the situation, friends can be judgy!), and he is honestly so busy with work I get maybe 1 day a month I can schedule scans and appointments based on his day off work - he can't just not go in and come to an appointment with me.

If anyone else is going through anything similar and has any advice or even wants to chat I'd love to hear from you. I never thought I'd be "single parenting" but here I am, and just trying to stay positive about it.