Should I be upset that my boyfriend constantly stands me up?

Question

So my boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 and half years now and these last couple years I've noticed a new issue pop up in our relationship.
He has what I would call a sleeping problem. He's a VERY deep sleeper. Like I've honestly never met someone who sleeps deeper than he does, it's crazy. It's incredibly hard to wake him up and he's slept through his alarms countless times. 
He also falls asleep ALL the time. I attribute this partly to him working a physically demanding job and partly to the fact that he smokes a ton of weed.
So, as I mentioned, his sleeping habits have started to affect our relationship lately. Basically, we'll make plans to see each other and he either shows up hours late or just literally doesn't show up at all because he fucking fell asleep. And then worse off, sometimes I don't even hear back from him for hours no matter how many times I text and call because again, he's such a deep sleeper that he just doesn't hear his phone. It's happened so many times now.
We've talked about this issue a few times before but it's usually just him apologizing a lot and promising to make it up to me. It's starting to bother me more and more mainly because I feel like it's happening more and more.
Generally speaking, he's an amazing boyfriend. Other than this, we rarely have fights or problems. He puts up with all my bullshit (and I have a lot of bullshit). The thing is, one of my bullshits is that I have what you might call a crippling self-worth problem. It's something I've been trying to work through for years now but you know, it's slow goings I guess. 
I've come to realize that one of the side effects of my self-worth problem is that I have a really hard time advocating for myself. Like, I always question whether I'm just overreacting or if my feelings are valid. Are my standards/expectations too high or are they too low? Just right? Idk.
So in this situation, I feel torn because Idk what to do. Again, he's such a great boyfriend and he does SO much for me and I can tell he's genuinely trying his hardest to make me happy but at the same time, it does bother me that 1) this continues to be an issue and 2) it's getting more frequent because it's like, if he really cared, he would make a bigger effort to stop doing it right? 
But at the same time, he does truly make an effort in pretty much every other aspect of our relationship. I'm not currently working while he's working full time and going to school part time. He's basically with me any time he's not at work or school. So I wonder if maybe I'm just being too demanding because I'm just over here at my house being a lazy POS all day while he's actually busy getting shit done? Or am I right to feel the way I do?
I just don't know if it's right or fair of me to bring it up to him and add more stress to his life when he's already so stressed and so overworked, especially since again, I'm kind of just coasting through life right now compared to him.
Ugh Idk how to feel and I'm just looking for some perspective I guess. What do you guys think?

Answer

He could legitimately have a health problem. I had an old manager that had to have alarms on his phone because if he sat down, he was falling asleep. It wasn't anything he could control.

Answer

I’m a lot like you... I get mad at my boyfriend for certain things and I’m probably not wrong about it but in the grand scheme of our relationship I should probably just let it go because he’s such a great guy and I can’t expect someone to be perfect. I expect him to accept my flaws. 
So yeah I think that although you should keep talking about this issue because it is annoying and it is a problem, you should always contextualize the issue within who he is as a person and how he treats you. Easier said than done for people like us

Answer

Have him go to the doctor,  a friend of slept a ton. Had low s3x drive. Turns out he had low testosterone levels

Answer

That’s how my husband is too his a deep sleeper. We could be on the couch having a conversation and I go silent for more than 1 min his already snoring. His alarms could be going full on blast on the night stand and he wouldn’t hear it. And he always tells me he doesn’t do it on purpose...now I’m thinking he has a problem

Answer

I would say that he should talk to a doctor just to make sure he doesn’t have narcolepsy or some other sleep disorder. And your feelings matter, even though he doesn’t mean to hurt you. Maybe you could make plan a and plan b so you have something else to look forward to. Like plan a is we go out to dinner, but plan b in case you fall asleep is breakfast over FaceTime. Just a little something to reassure you that you are important to him.

Answer

Is his name Steve? He sounds like my ex.

Answer

I think this is likely an issue you could work around since he's not being malicious. He does appear to have a legitimate sleep issue (and maybe should stop the weed or ask a doctor about this.) 
I understand being upset by it. I don't think you are asking too much- but maybe he's simply not able to meet this reasonable expectation- and you can either decide to leave in hopes someone else will, or see he is otherwise meeting your needs & modify your expectations and make changes in how you deal with this in the relationship. 
For example:
-not planning anything ahead until right before! As in, you don't make plans or make "loose plans"- so that if he falls asleep it doesn't feel like you are being blown off. And if you say okay lets hang out RIGHT NOW he's awake enough for long enough to make it happen- instead of having time to sit & fall asleep before time to hang out. 
- or, if/when both parties are comfortable, you having a key & permission to come right over when you have plans so you can go wake him up to hang out 🙃 definitely did this with one ex of mine. He gave me a key of his own volition, and it was nice because he did occasionally sleep extremely excessively and deeply- even his mom would get worried and call to see if I could go check if he was okay 🙃 and he wouldn't even wake up when I did. 
And I have this with my current partner, this sort of "one thing" that irritates the fuck out of me & makes me feel like shit, but ultimately it's not that big of a deal so I decided I'd compromise instead of breaking up. Well. Tbh, I may have dumped them 4-6 times over it, but that's my bullshit lol they called my bluff last time. And I decided it wasn't that important. 
It's phone calls. They don't like to call often, they don't think about it & prefer text based discussions most often. It made me feel unimportant, but we eventually have reached an understanding. But not without fuss. Lol 
They do make an effort & always come through if needed, but they just get overwhelmed. But, they don't know how to state their boundaries. 
So it's up to me to ask for calls when I need that type of connection- and then I also have to remind them it is okay if they are overwhelmed and remind them I will respect their space & boundaries. Which I can do. 
It's really complicated why such a tiny thing that is reasonable to expect became an issue- most couples in our situation would talk on the phone way more- but actually it's kind of nice to cultivate the freedom we are, so I'll count my blessings.

Answer

He could have a sleep disorder. He should have a sleep study done. I don’t think you should be so hard on him. It’s sounds like there could be a reason for his sleeping habits.

Should I be upset that my boyfriend constantly stands me up?

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