What to do ?

I’m the boring friend I guess ... the friend they run to when it comes to relationship advice.. I don’t get invited to go out or to have a drink. you only come around when you wanna talk about life.. and the reason for that is because you look at my life.. you think I have such a cookie cutter lifestyle.. the husband. The kids ( boy and girl) . The house. The dog. I give you all this bullshit advice on how to keep your man and have a healthy relationship but I shouldn’t be giving advice on shit like that. I’m tired of giving advice and telling them how to handle situations throughout their relationships. I have no one to talk to as of right now about mine... I’m lonely and alone.. I have no one to talk to about how I feel or Anybody giving me advice. I’m so lonely I made my mom best friend to talk to 😩 but I can only tell her but so much .. I’m the friend that looks like she has a cookie cutter life style I guess and I’m trying to be a good girl as always. Im trying to hold all my shit together while I’m under water screaming. I’m trying to make myself feel happy with the life I chose for myself .. I’m trying to manifest good thoughts in my life, my family, my friends , my relationship. I’m trying to manifest my husband to love and treat me the way I want to be treated. I want to be caressed by this man and held and kissed and loved and touched on and rubs on in so many ways possible. Ugh how I want this make to eat my pussy so bad without me asking. I want him to pleasure me without me asking. I want to be whisper freaky shit throughout the day or just a kinky as Text..I want him to just want to want me one day and his action say it all. I want him to look at me like he loves me and doesn’t want me to go anywhere. I miss these things so much and it’s sad because I had this with men that I never loved as much as him and I don’t understand...I feel so empty. I don’t know how to make myself not want these things. How can I change ? How can I ? I want to know how I can love, pleasure and give all of me to him with nothing in return. I am not satisfied and I’m trying to be. I be going with the flow with everything when it’s come to life and the life I have built with him.. I feel like I had kids to not feel lonely... my little friends until they grow up .. I am such a fucking loner and I hate it. I have social anxiety from being in this dam house please help me ... I need help