I know I’m dumb I don’t need rude comments but is it bad to not tell him?

Question

I was hooking up with this guy for a while and ended up getting pregnant. At first he respected any choice is made but then quickly switched and told me he’d hate me if I didn’t get an abortion and that he wouldn’t be in the child’s life he’d just send money every once in a while and if I wasn’t okay with it that then he would take the baby and not let me be in its life. Well it scared me and I thought about an abortion but had a miscarriage before I could go through with an abortion. This was a month ago. I was so sad and he invited me over and I went because all I wanted was comfort from him since I couldn’t tell anyone else. Anyways my dumb ass had sex with him. And now I’m pregnant again. It’s so weird because I have PCOS and tried for two years to get pregnant with my ex and it never happened. I gave up and now I randomly get pregnant twice in a row without even trying. Is it fucked up if I just don’t tell him this time around and just move on with my life and my baby? He was so controlling last time and constantly stressed me out and I honestly believe it contributed to my miscarriage. Don’t judge me y’all. I’m 26 and have my own home and I’m completely financially stable.                              
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Edit: thank you guys. You’re all right I do need to tell him. I’m so scared. Last time he was extremely controlling and mean. He would even control what kind of music I was “allowed” to listen to while pregnant and told me I’m not allowed to leave the house anymore after having the baby even if the baby was with him (even tho we wouldn’t be together. He’s weird)

Answer

It’s your choice not to tell him. But don’t expect money or support from him of you change your mind and tell him later down the road.
I personally think it’s wrong and he deserves to know, but if you don’t want to tell him, don’t.

Answer

(Response to your edit). What the actual fuck?!!! If that’s the case then don’t let him know face to face, make sure you’re far away from him. No one should get treated like that.

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He is the father so itd be best if he knew but don't let this man try and control anything. You aren't his property and he has no right to treat you so terribly. Id say just tell him "you don't have to be involved but I feel better letting you know" and make sure you set some very clear boundaries. You've got this momma. Don't let anyone tell you what to do. And congrats on your pregnancy ❤

Answer

He does deserve to know as the child’s father. That’s keeping a potential father out of the child’s life. The child may resent you alter knowing you didn’t tell them a dont he life they could of had. Let him make the voice. He wants to be in the child’s life okay set boundaries. He doesn’t let him make that choice and you move on.

Answer

Sigh. Given his prior behavior, I understand why you think it’s best not to tell him. It’s your decision whether you want to live in secrecy with your child.. unless the father poses any risk to you or the child, you should just stand your ground and let it be known you’re keeping the child. Sure, he may make the same threats again regarding taking the child if the monetary support alone, is not enough... but don’t let anyone change who you are. You’re going down a rabbit whole either way so just speak your peace and be ready to take on whatever comes of it.

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I think you should let him know, but I wouldn’t let him know until I was ready or even until after the child is born. I’d block him on everything until then though.

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I would think it’s wrong to not tell him. But, you don’t have to tell him right away. You can wait until you’re further along. I’d try to distance myself from him, though. He sounds like trouble.

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Normally I'd say tell him, but hell no! A controlling asshole does not deserve to know!! I don't know how anyone is saying yes after he already threatened to take your baby away the first time! Love your life & take care of yourself & your baby. He does not need to be in any child's life.

Answer

Do not feel obligated to tell him anything! He already made it clear he don’t want that baby. So fuck him. Raise that baby alone. Don’t tell him and he won’t be able to control you. Don’t let him control you regardless. He doesn’t own you because you’re pregnant with his kid. You control your life and leave his ass in the dust!

Answer

I would let him know and since he's being so controlling that's not good or healthy I would leave him for treating you like that. You should put him on child support and get a parenting agreement.

I know I’m dumb I don’t need rude comments but is it bad to not tell him?

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