My boyfriend of 6 years started smoking meth and popping morphine pills about a year and a half ago. We are only 22. When I found out I told him it’s me or the drugs. I don’t do any drugs whatsoever, I don’t even smoke pot. But I do understand how hard addiction can be because I grew up with my dad being an alcoholic and I wanted to support him through recovery. I love him more than anything and he’s lost literally all of his friends because of this addiction. His dealer lives right above his apartment and he would try to quit but then keep relapsing.

Last week, my boyfriend stood up out of my car and a small glass jar fell out on the passenger seat. I picked it up to find that it was crystal meth. He tried to lie and say it was “Tramadol salt” but then ended up admitting to it when I called out his bull crap. He quit for 3 months and then started smoking it again 2 weeks ago.

Ever since then I’ve been incredibly depressed. I can’t keep doing this. And ever since then he’s been talking nonstop about meth, the side effects, how it’s effected him, how much he hates his dealer etc. He used to talk about drugs on a daily basis but ever since I found out it’s been nonstop, every minute of the day. I get that he wants to share with me what he’s going through, but it’s constant and I hate drugs so much that I don’t even want to hear about it. He also talks about “fun facts” about drugs and famous people who do drugs, and things he loves about opiates. I’m so exhausted hearing about it constantly. I always let him talk about this and ask follow up questions to make him feel heard.

I told him he needs to go to rehab. He said he wants to wait until his upstairs dealer moves out because he reported her (he showed me proof of the report) and he knows he will just end up relapsing again if she stays upstairs.

It feels like any time I try to express what I’m going through from this, he gets annoyed. If I share my feelings he says I’m making his addiction all about me. I have no one to turn to because I can’t tell my parents what is going on or they would beg me to break up with him.

Am I wrong for wanting to be heard about my feelings/sadness when he’s the one struggling with addiction?