My poor baby’s heart is broken and I don’t know what to do 😔

My son’s father has always been infrequent in his life and just doesn’t have his act together. I can go on and on about all of the horrible things he has put his family through but this past year he has really messed my son up and I don’t know what to do.

1) Last year when the BLM riots first started, my son’s father decided to try to explain what was happening but in the most age inappropriate way (he was 6). He told him that all police officers want to kill him because he’s black. He thought he was making a great point or something. Believe me I went off on him. Ever since that day my son is terrified of the police and thinks he’s different from everyone. He has a hard time meeting new people because he automatically thinks everyone hates him because he is black. It breaks my heart to hear him talk about himself like that.

2) early this year he decided to tell my son that he joined the Marines and he won’t see him for 4 years. He then proceeded to tell my 7 year old child to look after his grandma and little brother (dad’s other toddler son not mine) while he’s gone. He told him he needs to be the man of the house now and he’s counting on him.. first of all you can’t put that kind of pressure on a 7 year old child.. that’s messed up. My son was deeply depressed after hearing this. His grades and performance in school reflected this. Then we find out he told my son that before he even enlisted and then changed his mind anyways.

3) my son is severely allergic to dogs. So severe that he will end up in the hospital with asthma issues that last over a week from even the shortest exposure. His dad knows this as I’ve tried telling him at least a dozen times. He insinuated I was lying because neither him or I have allergies and proceeded to get a dog. When I told him that my son will not be going over his house and he would have to visit him somewhere dog free he began threatening me by saying he was taking me to court and started cussing me out.

4) and now he just up and left to Montana to live with some random woman he met on TikTok and her 3 children. He’s posting pictures on social media expressing his love for her children and videos of him playing with them.He called my son just last week and told him he moved across the country and doesn’t know when he’ll see him. Of course this fucked up my son. He’s just numb at this point but still blaming it on himself. This all coincidentally happened just as I filed for a child support adjustment as it was at a ridiculously low amount that was set up when we were minors. I asked him to call the child support office and update his address and work info and he refuses to do so. So now he won’t pay child support either.

Idk what to do. My son has to go to therapy. I try to keep him completely away from this lunatic but then he starts verbally abusing me and threatening me that he’s gonna take me to court which I can’t afford right now. He signed his birth certificate so I guess he has parental rights but he does not have legal visitation. Am I allowed to not let him talk to or see my child? I feel so bad for my son. He goes through enough with a congenital condition he has and now possible autism. And he has to deal with this treatment from his own father. I want to protect my child but idk what I can do. I have no experience in this and don’t know anyone that does. I can’t afford a lawyer.