Is anyone else absolutely miserable when they have to go to their in laws ?

Question

Or just me. I hate going over there. They basically take my baby and do what they want. My husband is so submissive and can’t stick up for us. I hate going over there. They already don’t like me ever since I gave birth and made strict rules because of Covid but here we are going over there house full of people with my 9 month old. Things really do change once you have a baby. My husband says he’s always stuck between hurting me or his mom so it’s easier for him to hurt me.

Answer

It’s easier for him to hurt you?

You’re his wife. When he married you he left his parents and vowed to care of you, not his mom. He is married to you and lives with you and raises children with you, not his mom. 
I’d talk to him about that a little more and let him know how you feel in a kind and understanding way. Im sorry. I know that must be a difficult situation.

Answer

So stop going over there with your baby. Then when they ask why tell them they can either treat you better or they’ll miss out on their grandchild. You are part of the package and deserve at the bare minimum some respect. Then it’s their choice. They’ll either decide their grandchild isn’t as important as being rude to you or that being rude to you isn’t as importantly missing their grand baby. 
That’s what I had to do and it didn’t take long for them to change. Our relationship is much better now but it took time. In the beginning I wasn’t even asking for anything other than a hello before my child was ripped out of my hands. So, I wouldn’t expect much but they have to at least try. Treating you like you’re nothing is unacceptable.

Answer

This is literally my life right now. Since birth my mil has been a pain. Showing up unexpectedly. Bringing her friends to see my baby. Kissing my baby. Wanting to hold him when I want him to sleep.
I hate her being around him because she doesn’t listen to me. I’ve had to ask her not to kiss him on five seperate occasions and he is only 7 weeks old.
My husband doesn’t want to get involved in it, but he is a mummy’s boy and thinks because she’s done so much for us that she can get away and do whatever she wants.
So I try avoid them and now he complains about me keeping the baby from them and that “it’s his child too” 🙃
In laws - here to make postpartum life more difficult.

Answer

When you say they take the baby and do what they want, what exactly do you mean? Is it things that are potentially harmful, or just not your full preference of how you would do things? My parents and in laws do the same, but my kids have a relationship with their grandparents that are separate from me, so I pick my battles. Like if they gave my kids cookies before lunch....not my "rule" in my house, but at their house if they want to spoil their grandkids a little, meh... I'll let it slide. But if it's something that's flat out harmful, that's a different issue.

Answer

If they’re not respecting you or your rules for your baby, stop going over there and stop bringing your baby. They can’t force you and neither can your husband.

Answer

Yeaaaaa I’d be having a conversation of you continue to hurt me Bc it’s easier than hurting your Mom- I’m out. You’re his wife. He needs to grow a pair.

Is anyone else absolutely miserable when they have to go to their in laws ?

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