9 Weeks Ectopic Pregnancy

Mara

My husband and I are devastated to learn this pregnancy is probably ectopic. Everything was looking good up until 7 weeks. My HCG level has stayed at 8 and my uterus is thin, making doctors believe this is ectopic. We always knew this was a possibility with me having a hydrodalpinx, but never thought it would actually happen to us because it is so rare. I've had multiple positive pregnancy tests and a few symptoms such as extreme fatigue, nausea, and craving pickles/potatoes. Wednesday I'm supposed to be 9 weeks and that is when I was told to come in to remove it. I just want to hold my baby and tell it everything is going to be alright and that it is loved but I'll never be able to. I'm going to feel like an absolutely terrible person for letting then remove it and I'm not sure if I can even go in Wednesday honestly. Has anyone else had a similar experience?