Would you go to the wedding?

Question

Posting on behalf of my fiancé.  We are totally estranged from his family, his dad over the years sexually harassed me and has shown many signs of being a sexual predator from I was a teenager dating my now fiancé.  So for this reason they are not part of our lives or kids lives.
Our wedding is next year.  His mom called to say don’t expect a single family member to be attending cus they don’t approve of who he is marrying.
Well his sister gets married on Saturday and since they said no one will be attending our wedding, he said that he won’t be attending his sisters wedding.  
The family think he’s disgusting for not going, and he feels torn for reasons that are beyond me. They work together so I think he just wants to keep the peace, but he knows the whole family have a received an biased story about him and won’t be welcoming.
In his position, would you go to the sisters wedding

Accepted Answer

If he has a good relationship with his sister than I would say yes. It’s not fair to punish her because the rest of the family. If there is no relationship I wouldn’t go 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

If this was my brother, I wouldn’t expect him to attend my wedding. We have a good relationship but if I thought I could not control the way everyone else would treat him, I would be fine with him not wanting to come. Of course he would be more than welcome if he wanted to

Answer

If the relationship with her is good then I would go for the ceremony literally be there just for a small moment then leave. He doesn’t have to stay the entire time.
If they have no relationship then absolutely don’t go.

Answer

If I was in his position and I had a good relationship with the sister, and I knew she wasn’t taking sides or talking bad about my family and I, then I’d go and leave if things got hostile. If not, then I’d not bother. 
I don’t think it’d be fair to punish his sister if they have a good relationship just because the rest of the family is estranged, however these situations are super tricky to navigate and I think if he chose not to go then I’d also understand his reasonings. Maybe the best thing to do would be for him to arrange lunch or drinks or something with his sister so they can talk about everything that’s going on, discuss their feelings and hopefully come to an agreement about how they’re going to proceed in terms of her wedding and yours, too.

Answer

If I were him I would go as long as going won’t cause a scene for his sister and bil on their wedding day. Getting in silly eye for and eye arguments never work out and only cause extra stress. His family’s issues with you are a whole other story. I remember some of your posts.

Answer

It depends. Does have a good relationship with his sister?

Answer

I think it depends on his relationship to his sister. If he has a good, loving relationship, he should go. Is she also not attending your guys’ wedding? If she’s planning to attend than yes, your fiancé should definitely attend even if he’s uncomfortable to make her happy.

Answer

Sounds like mom & dad are the issue not sister. I would be the bigger person & go to sisters wedding that way they don’t have some extra stupid excuse not to go to yours like (well you didn’t go to your sisters)... Now if his sister has made it a point to announce she will not be at yours but still expects you & him to come to hers that’s ignorant. Seems I have an unpopular opinion but that’s just personally what I’d do. After I went to my sisters wedding if she didn’t come to mine I’d be done going to their events and not invite them to future events either.

Answer

I’d tell him to tell them since they don’t agree with his fiancée and she would be his date he just isn’t going! I’m estranged from my family and I don’t play those games I simply wouldn’t go but I also have no contact so my mom wouldn’t be calling me for anything

Answer

Wtf? No. They’re disgusted to attend your wedding but they’re upset you won’t attend theirs? Can’t believe these are grown ass adults. Cut them off for good

Would you go to the wedding?

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