More kids or focus on myself…?

K

I have 2 kids. Boy 8, girl 3. My boy is from a previous relationship, but the man I’m with now who I had my daughter with has been in his life since my son was 10 months old.

Our kids fight like no other… anytime I think they’re good and I can go do something for a little while one of them is hollering. Lol.

This has brought me to the point of not wanting more kids and considering getting my tubes tied. My partner says he would be on board (I value his opinion on this topic)

However every single day I think to myself “I want another” but if I have one more I want two more-just something I’ve always said.

I started to call the doctor to schedule an appointment and hung up. While our kids do fight often I feel it’s just typical brother and sister things. We are raising amazing kids and I feel like we would be “gypping” the world or ripping off the world if we didn’t raise more amazing humans. 😂 I feel like this sounds so silly but it’s literally stuff that goes through my head.

We’re in a really good place. He has a great career, we just bought a home, I’m in nursing school, great support system….

But I’ve also been content with our two who are growing more and more independent I have been able to focus on myself and school more as well as getting myself back into shape. I’ve lost 20 lbs since last year. I gained about 10 back during our move due to eating fast food and not exercising as much so I’d really like to put some time and effort into that too.

I’m torn. More kids or more me time? What would you do?